My Real Dating Profile
Last week was Valentine’s Day and like always we saw a mix of happy couples expressing their love to one another for all to see through engagements, surprise getaways, and simply taking out the trash without being asked. On the flip side, there was plenty of commentary from folks on #singlelife and their woes.
The reality is that I probably won’t be celebrating this holiday in a romantic manner for quite some time since I HATE DATING. It spikes my anxiety, don’t feel emotionally safe, and honestly, I’m afraid of falling again. It took over a year to get over my last relationship and I don’t think I will ever be over it all the way, so WHY would I jump back into anything when I have work, school, this blog, my charity work and then some on my plate? It’s too much work and I don’t need to be a relationship to feel validated in my life right now. On the flip side, I can’t help but be fascinated by how the dating game has changed in the last ten years and dating profiles enchant me. Here’s a list of a couple that keep me laughing. That’s why I decided to write what I perceive to be the most honest profile, so…. enjoy peeps.
Ashantis, 24
Chicago, IL
About Ashantis
I’m doing this because if my friends ask me about dating one more time I’m going to scream. You don’t actually have to swipe cause dating also makes me scream and awkwardly run away.
Currently Reading: My textbooks for grad school. At least I’m supposed to be.
Currently Watching: The list is too long, just check out this blog post to get an idea.
Currently Traveling: I’ve got Montgomery, New York, Denver, and a couple of trips to Cleveland on the way.
Currently Listening To: Depends on the day. Could be musicals, could be Ariana, could be a randos playlist. There’s not much I don’t like from the mainstream genres.
Okay if you made it this far, here’s the deal.
I have a blog (which you should know cause that’s where you’re reading this), so be ready to do whatever is necessary to get the shot cause I forgot that I’m out of content and I need to post in two hours.
I love food and dining out, but I also will also be happy with Chipotle as long as you don’t forget the vinaigrette.
I will go out, but be prepared to watch me stare at a wall or frequently disappear to the bathroom if I’m bored. TBH those aren’t related, I just always have to pee.
An ideal Saturday night includes binge-watching a TV show, so if you can’t sit through at least four forty-minute episodes, this is not going to work.
I don’t believe in diets, most people’s definitions of wellness, or working off meals, so be ready to open your mind to anti-diet culture.
I also love to workout, so I hope you’ll be my buddy at the gym.
I do want kids… probably two or three, so don’t be confused if I confirm this fact with you within the first 90 days.
Traveling is also really important, so get your passport ready dude.
I fall hard cause I love love, so if you really hurt me, you’re canceled.
HOLY SHIT you’re still reading…. cool. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.