Let's Chat Emotional Labor

In light of everything happening in the world, I’ve decided to start a little IGTV series dedicated to discussing life through a therapeutic lens.

Today we’re chatting about Emotional Labor. You may have heard this term going around, especially in the last week so I’m going to break it down for you. If you prefer to read, I’ve copied over my original script below. It may differ a bit from the video, but the overall message is the same.

The term emotional labor was coined by sociologist Arlie Hochschild in her 1983 book The Managed Heart: Commercialization of Human Feeling. She describes it as labor that requires one to induce or suppress feeling in order to sustain the outward countenance that produces the proper state of mind in others. This kind of labor calls for a coordination of mind and feeling, and it sometimes draws on a source of self that we honor as deep and integral to our individuality. Obviously, that was a mouthful, so to bring it 2020. I would describe emotional labor as the act of kindly putting up with someone’s bullshit to keep them comfortable.

There are a ton of examples of this, like when a waiter has to put up with a rude customer or even when y’all jump into people’s DM’s because you need a link without saying hi or thank you. The customer feels as though they can speak to the waiter however they want because they are providing them with their livelihood via a tip. As a member of a blogger’s audience, you may feel the same way. By engaging with them and shopping through their links, you keep them successful. What both examples fail to keep in mind is that these actions have a direct impact on the people they’re aimed at.

To apply it outside of the work setting, emotional labor takes place every time someone from a marginalized group has to explain one of the many injustices they experience to someone outside that group or experiences something like a micro-aggression. If you want to learn about microaggressions, I’ve tagged two other creators that have already made videos about this. 

Thinking about our current climate, when you ask Black people to relive their traumas for the sake of your learning, you are asking them to provide you with emotional labor.  According to the journal Impossible Burdens: White Institutions, Emotional Labor, and Micro-Resistance, people of color within white institutional spaces carry the burden of having to choose between tacitly participating in their own objectification and marginalization within the institution or actively reacting against these racial dynamics at the risk of institutional alienation, and possibly exclusion. 

In this last week, I sat through multiple conversations of white folks processing their newfound emotions about racism and systematic oppression. It was exhausting and a great example of emotional labor. I don’t believe it was their intention to do anything but express empathy and let me know they’re finally educating themselves, but at the same time, it was a reminder that they have been willfully ignoring the cries for justice from my community. To give another example, someone let me know they wanted to feature me on their page as a part of the #amplifymelenatedvoices campaign that was going around but asked me to write up my story for them to share. I declined because I did not have the capacity to explain how that request was missing the mark. That instead of asking me to write up a story, they should be sharing what they’ve learned from following me or not feature me at all because if they couldn’t share their own personal thoughts, maybe they hadn’t been listening and seeing me before. 

Moving forward, mistakes will be made. What you must remember is that you are sitting in history right now, so take each day at a time because you will consistently learn which may cause you to shift your action and thinking for the better. With that being said, please do your best to learn from today’s lesson and share it with others. White and non-black people of color, do not leave this video and find yourself acting up because then you have wasted my labor. Remember that Black people don’t need to “prove” their solidarity in this movement. We are this movement, so if you are finally diversifying your feed, know that gives you NO RIGHT to start going in those Black folks’ comments and DM’s asking them what they’re doing to contribute. We live in it and have been traumatized by the BS on a regular basis. This may be new to you, but this shit started in 1619, so try again.

Resources
Journal Reference: Evans, L., & Moore, W. L. (2015). Impossible Burdens: White Institutions, Emotional Labor, and Micro-Resistance. Social Problems, 62(3), 439–454. doi: 10.1093/socpro/spv009

The Managed Heart - https://caringlabor.files.wordpress.com/2012/09/the-managed-heart-arlie-russell-hochschild.pdf

Ongoing Educational Series:
@sequinsandsales⁣⁣ (IGTV on microaggressions)
@ayanagabriellelage (IGTV on microaggressions)
@lotsofsassblog⁣⁣
@whatnicolewore⁣⁣
@goodtomicha⁣⁣
@thelifewithnicole

Note there have been conflicting discussions on the definition of Emotional Labor based on Arlie Hochschild's original definition, but it seems the definition has expanded and evolved over the years.